Where would we be without social media and all of its reminders of how well it knows us? Well, today it’s Twitter reminding me of my life milestones.
Twitter reminded me that I started my Horizons21 account one year ago today. One year ago today, I embarked on a journey that I had no idea where it would take me. So many ups, and yet equally so many downs. Starting your own online company may look and sound easy – and some parts are- but in reality it’s very lonely. Thank god for the Internet. Without it, I wouldn’t have had the support that I have found online. The women and men that are going through exactly the same thing, sometimes slower, sometimes faster, than I am.
Not that my friends aren’t supportive, but a lot of the time, it’s hard to understand, or even explain what I’m going through (and I don’t always do a great job of it either). I don’t like talking about it too much because I don’t want to bore people with it. Often I’m afraid their flattery is a way to get me to stop talking about how great my new website looks or something (there are, of course, exceptions and you know who you are– and with you I’m even harder to shut up).
What have I learned in my year-long journey?
I’ve got a helluva long way to go.
Not just with the products that I’m creating and working on, but also just with myself. Becoming an entrepreneur is the best thing that ever happened to me, because it’s forced me to look inside myself a lot more than anywhere else. A year ago, if I was putting together IKEA furniture and couldn’t figure it out, I would give up with a huff and a puff, call a friend or my dad, and get them to do it. Yesterday, I fidgeted as long as it took to sort out my housemate’s newly purchased bedside table. I mean, it’s not 100% and the back is a bit loose but it’s standing, stable and not going to fall apart anytime soon so score for Arna and happy housemate to boot (yes he knows about the back being weird. Design flaw.)
Learning to keep going despite hardships is something everyone should know how to do, and you know how it’s made easier? With cheerleaders. I never appreciated them as much as I have come to this last year. Without unwavering support, listening ears, and people to hold me accountable, I never would have gotten this far. Everyone needs to have at least 3 cheerleaders in their life. Why 3? Because one and two aren’t enough. That’s why. Find your cheerleaders, and don’t let them go. Find people that will rally you when you need it most and that are willing to kick you in the ass when you need it most, too. Work on those relationships, because they’re the ones that are going to last. Nurture them, take time off with them, and enjoy the little (and big) things in life with them.
Having a positive attitude is the hardest challenge so far. This past year, I’ve listened to so many self-help videos and audios I feel like I should be starting a course on it. But I’m not practicing what I preach enough AT ALL. Do I believe with all my heart I’m going to make it? Hell yes. But in the day to day slog, it’s hard to remember that bigger picture. It’s hard to remember that the Universe has got my back. Self-doubt, doubt in others, in the bigger picture… they start to creep in and suddenly the Universe is like ‘girlfriend you better keep faith or else things are gonna get messed up again’ and I have to work my positivity ass off to fall back in line. How do I keep in touch with that inner self and inner power? I’ve been on and off, I’ll be honest. A lot of it has to do with journalling, introspection, meditation. Even just affirmations that you read out to yourself 3/4 times a day (yes I’m aware I sound like a hippy but go with it, it keeps me grounded). It’s about making decisions that benefit you and your soul, and putting yourself first. It’s about being brave enough to say ‘no more suffering’, whatever form of suffering is taking.
On that note, in the last 3 months I’ve had to cut 2 very important people out of my life and it still physically hurts. I thought these people were in it with me for the long haul. But their negativity was getting in my way, or maybe my negativity towards them and the situations they/we were in was getting in the way…whatever it was, something was wrong. I did one of the cruelest things I have ever done and cut them out. And ever since then, I’ll admit, I’ve not been very friendly with the Universe. I’m kind of pissed off with the Universe for making me lose out on two friendships I really cherished… but at the end of the day, they were my decisions. They were my decisions to keep positive and stay true to my path. It meant focusing on me again. It meant being selfish so that I can keep travelling down the path I want with the right people in my arsenal. God, it kills being selfish, and I was so convinced they were the right people in my life. But being at one with the Universe means making decisions that benefit ME. And if relationships aren’t aligning with that, then you need to get rid! (this is not saying that all relationships can only benefit you. Relationships are mutually beneficial but no one should be brought down for the sake of the other. I felt I was being dragged down and unable to be myself, and I had to put a stop to it. That is the main point of this: don’t let others drag you down and not allow you to be who you want to be).
Authenticity is the best way forward. If you do not love what you are doing, if you do not love where you are, then it’s going to show. Your anxiety shows, it truly does. I’ve gone to job interviews really hating the job… and then I don’t end up getting the job… why do you think that is? It was obvious, despite my Oscar-worthy performance, I was not meant to be there. By being the truest version of yourself, you are going to attract the right people that you want and need with you on the journey. Being honest, clear, and open about your intentions you’ll go a lot further. I’m so lucky, I have met the best people so far on this journey that let me be myself. (Seriously here’s another shout out to all the wonderful people in my life. So grateful for you)
Not everything has to be perfect. I think there are currently like 4 spelling mistakes on my home page on my website. The course I’m creating looks a bit rough around the edges. My invoices don’t look super professional (or maybe I’m just too paranoid). But you know what? If you don’t start you won’t finish. I’m just going to keep going. Yes, I’m going to make mistakes along the way but I’m only human. There is only so much I can do with my one brain and one laptop. I don’t have a team, and I certainly don’t have more hours in the day than everyone else. I have to keep remembering, it doesn’t have to be perfect, yet. When I grow big enough, have my own team, etc, I can make sure someone spends time looking over those mistakes and ensure they don’t happen again.
So how far have I actually come? I don’t really talk about my business on my personal pages and profiles. Mostly because I don’t really know where to start. It’s easy to tell people I’m a social media manager, but I’m so much more than that! At least, I’m working on becoming so much more than that! Those of you that know me well enough will know I’m always on the look-out for a new project and a new way to work or new people to do new things with. But I’ve been focussing on this one thing for a while now: I’m coming towards the end of creating an online course, and when that launches, I’m throwing a big party (Sydney-siders all welcome. I’m buying the first round of champagne). It’s been 4 months of extreme stress, tbh, because there’s so much to do. I have thought a few times “never again” but you know what the ideas keep coming and I can’t seem to stop. Ask me again before Christmas how far I’ve come, because I’m still not ready to talk about it… Call it fear: fear of judgment, fear of not finishing, whatever… the Universe and I need to talk and be aligned again before I start shouting about this from the rooftop….
I was listening to an entrepreneur podcast this morning on my way to my day-job, as I usually do, and one question stuck with me which, among other things, pushed me to write this post… “What is your life mission statement?” Well, that’s easy. Mine’s always been the same.
I want to make the world a better place. I want less anger, less hatred. More understanding, more compassion. I want to start an inter-generational dialogue that doesn’t seek to alienate. I want more harmony and appreciation for others, I want others to learn to walk a mile in other people’s shoes.
No. Let me rephrase that.
I will make the world a better place. I will help create less anger, less hatred. More understanding, more compassion. I will start an inter-generational dialogue that doesn’t alienate. I will create more harmony and appreciation for others, I will help others learn to walk a mile in other people’s shoes.
What the next year holds? God only knows. But I can’t wait for it all to happen. The travel plans, the business plans…the Sydney living, the beach breaks…The potential heart-breaks, the heart healing… all of it.
And I’m going to start making concrete plans, too. Big, scary plans. Eurotrip next Spring/Summer, Taiwan with my soul mates, and lots of little weekend trips in between. OHH and I’m booking 1 night at the Giraffe Manor in Nairobi for January 2019. I’m putting down a deposit. Because I’ve decided I’m not going to wait anymore. I’ve been biding my time for so long. It was always ‘next year’, or ‘next time’… You could say I’ve been waiting all my life. The Universe knows what’s up, that I need to be held accountable for my dreams and how far I’m going to go in the next couple of years. So let’s party, let’s rock n roll. Bring it all on.